It’s time to let our guard down. In Episode 60 of #WYFWTY, Suzanne and Shannon talk vulnerability! How Suzanne and Shannon are about to do something that scares them both and the best way to handle your own critical voice and deal with the voices of the naysayers.
#LIVE Are you putting yourself out there? In Episode 60 of #WYFWTY: Vulnerability! Suzanne and Shannon talk about how they are about to do something that scares them both, how to handle your own critical voice and deal with the voices of the naysayers.
Posted by What Your Friends Won't Tell You on Friday, April 19, 2019
SUZANNE: We’re talking about vulnerability.
SHANNON: We have been invited to be the keynote speakers for Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies. It’s a local charity that helps women through their pregnancies and getting them to the end of their pregnancy with a healthy baby. They’ve asked us to be the keynote speakers at their luncheon, which they hold every year, right before Mother’s Day.
SUZANNE: I think Alyson Seligman, was the speaker last year. It’s really nerve wracking to go behind her because she’s amazing. Funny enough, I just had Alyson on my podcast. She was talking about how she’s been doing a couple keynotes lately and it is the most terrifying thing she’s ever done. She feels like she’s totally vulnerable and putting herself out there. But she said it’s such a rush and can’t stop doing it. It’s really interesting, I was talking with a girlfriend today about playing it safe and getting in a place where it feels safe and you know what to expect so you get into a safe zone. It’s hard to put yourself into a vulnerable position.
SHANNON: I have a confession to make. My whole life is in the safe zone until WYFWTY. All my clients, I get to pick, they’re all word of mouth. I don’t even advertise. So if it’s your friend and they come in and they’re awful, I refer them. There’s some people that have clicked. There are some people who have come to me and they don’t click with me or I don’t click with them. So I refer to people. I say, “Oh, you know what, you’d be so much better with this person.” So this topic really speaks to me because one of my friends did this TED Talk and she said I have hangover because I spoke and I told everyone my stuff and I woke up the next day and wanted to die. The more I put myself out there, the more doing these videos or speaking in front of 300 women, they’re going to be people though that don’t like me, don’t agree with me, don’t like what I say. It’s very vulnerable. That’s not my safe village.
SUZANNE: It’s interesting because I remember when I first met you, you weren’t even on Facebook and the reason was because you were in a safe bubble.
SHANNON: Yeah, that was outside my safe zone.
SUZANNE: You didn’t want people friending you that maybe you know from your past or whatever.
SHANNON: Even getting a Facebook page I think was vulnerable.
SUZANNE: So anyway, we’re the keynote speakers at this event. If you want to come, it’s three weeks from today. You can buy tickets still. We’re going to pretty much have a full production episode. We’re live streaming it and it’s going to be super exciting. We’re going to be up on a stage in comfy chairs talking about being a mom, which is vulnerable. Shannon and I have been preparing. People think that because I was on TV for however many years that this whole thing is so easy for me. It’s very different to look into a camera and talk than to talk to a room full of people that are looking back at you. I have been in front of large groups of people and spoken for large groups of people, but I’ve never done a keynote speech. This is about you. Your parenting, what’s painful for you. Parenting is vulnerable. So Shannon what are some of the tools we can use to get past our vulnerabilities?
SHANNON: Lean into it and be vulnerable. Put yourself out there. Say yes to things. The second is people are typically not vulnerable because they’re afraid of losing people. I love what Brene Brown writes in Daring Greatly, she says, “You’re definitely going to lose people. However, if you are part of a village of trusted friends and family, and you have people in your life and in your heart and in your world, you will get through it.”
SUZANNE: A lot of my girlfriends have been saying “you’re replacing me.” And I say “I’m not replacing you.” It’s very interesting, like, those kind of vulnerabilities to that you see in people when they’re afraid of losing you.
SHANNON: I think it’s also important to realize that when someone is taking a different step, or taking a leap, they’re not walking necessarily away from you or walking away from your relationship, maybe they just need to find themselves.
SUZANNE: This has come up for me. A lot of people feel like they’re being replaced in my life because I’m doing my own thing.
SHANNON: When you’re in a dysfunctional family, there usually is not enough love to go around. There’s not enough energy or time. Dad’s a workaholic, or mom’s an alcoholic. I mean, my mom was an alcoholic. When she was working to get sober there was not enough time left for me. But what I’ve learned because my mom is so healthy and so wonderful is she’s shown me now, over the past few years, I’m a priority for her. She might have 50 clients, but when I call and say I don’t feel well, she’s like, “I’ll cancel my day.” So there is enough time. There is enough love in healthy relationships. I love what Brene Brown says that if “If you’re not in the trenches, and if you’re not putting yourself out there you’re going to hid behind your computer screen and be nasty.” I thought that was a really interesting way to look at the critical voices.
SUZANNE: This is all about putting yourself out there and being vulnerable. The reason this topic came up is because we’re just weeks away from being the keynote speakers at the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies luncheon on May 10th. Tickets are still available. Click HERE!